Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech Transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts. Yeah. Hey, Ive got a joke for you. The show was actually called "These Friends of Mine" in its first season, but the name was changed to avoid . One photo shows David sitting in a chair leaning on his white Gibson guitar, while Iman is laid back on a bed* Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Before I make a decision I wanna see how this is. Theyre still listing the side effects. Libary. Ellen Degeneres: (06:05) I love you. I love that phrase. Does she still have the cats? May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. Please, change. I was hoping for more of a really. But it was really. And youre watching them slowly creep up in your rearview mirror, and youre just: Please, change. Hes got dandruff. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? By Morgan Sung. Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. [claps] And then when youre sweaty, trying totake them off Its like Ive never taken one off. Buenas tardes, estudiantes. I think youre doing a great job. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. Ill put mine on real quick. Thank God, Ellen. Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. Again! "Ellen DeGeneres" Scripts.com. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. Ill tell you. Fit as a fiddle. Is that a good shape? Theres a squirrel. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. [background song playing] -Thats well done! Is he here? I mean, it should be like best thing since fire, or the wheel, or the ladder. She took a chance on me. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. Im just going to shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off. We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. Theres a AA battery. She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on . That was big of her, so yeah. My publicist,my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said: Dont do it. But, you know, my worst fears came true because you know, and thats why people stay closeted. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . At summit talks youll hear them speak Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan. Im not sure. With tear-stained cheeks, Ellen DeGeneres signed off her chatshow for the final time on Thursday, ending a daytime TV juggernaut that had lasted 19 years. Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. When I was 21, my biggest accomplishment was I got front row tickets to see Peter Frampton. Is there a teacher tWitch that you want to give a shout out to? And for all of this years graduates, believe me, your best days are still ahead of you. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. I will, yeah. I had to learn about it on the commercial. Shouldnt be a problem. And this side of the table? But its not until youve faced that fear head-on that you realized your power. Transcribe your audio files to find high-impact insights in minutes. It could be all because of her. Portia Lee James DeGeneres (born Amanda Lee Rogers; 31 January 1973), known professionally as Portia de Rossi, is an Australian-American former actress.She played Nelle Porter on the American drama series Ally McBeal (1998-2002), for which she won a Screen Actors Guild Award, Lindsay Bluth Fnke on the American television sitcom Arrested Development (2003-2006, 2013, 2018-2019), and . Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. At the starting of the week [gasps] Happy birthday If I have to do that, thatll be good. Its I said: I have three dogs. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. Its very delicate. Do you have anything to say to the Did you graduate college? Ellen's show experienced a hiatus from mid-December 2020 to mid-January 2021. Yep, you could get that for sure. She had a gawky, tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? with the money, yeah, dont act funny, yeah In fact, Im downin this Thank you. Ill wanna have a poncho on. Garrett, who appears to have since deleted the tweet in question, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show six times between 2004 and 2007. We get a junk drawer. Nobody was in there. She was ashamed. And for the gentleman? Dont applaud for that. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. What time of day is good for a lesbian? So [claps] Yeah, and then I get on the air in the first season. I thought either this is gonna be the worst joke Ive ever written or the best. Help me. And then I passed out. Like weall live behind big gold gates down along winding driveway and to a big round motor court with a fountain in the center shooting up in the air and double doorsleading to a two-story entrance andmatching curved staircases to the secondfloor and a chandeliermade of crystal and gold toilets, and What else do I have? Her character, Ellen Morgan, also came out to a therapist played by Winfrey, and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues, including the coming-out process. She opens the show with an obligatory . . Back that ass up In 2016, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. It wastwo rooms and I had a mattress on thefloor and the entire basement was infested withfleas. No. They insist on memorizing your order. 00:25. You know, you say: Im vegan. Now, theyre carrying animals around with them I There are somany pills. They seemed fine, like, I dont know what it is. With Ellen DeGeneres. Nobodys worried about talking about dandruff anymore, you know. Stephen "tWitch" Boss, choreographer, DJ and co-host of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," has died. Why do you say the hand? Thats not important. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. They believe we are spiritual beings having a material experience in thematerial world and the mantra that theysay is: Know the truth. And the truth is, there is no pain unless you give it pain with your mind. Mazel tov. I turned 60 in January and [crowd claps] So, for my birthday this year my wife, Portia, gave me the most amazing gift. And now, by the power vested in me by the State of California and my friends at Shutterfly, I now pronounce you graduated. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah Thank you very much. They didnt let her on, thank God, but Imean, not that she doesnt need it. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. Thank you so much. And then Ill do yoga on the pier. But now Im countin this Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Wait, its a sock. I am not gonna continue to do this the whole time.. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. Whooping cough, back hair, crying And itsjust They should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think of something. If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? I was walking, hewas walking, he started running, I had tocatch up. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now: Directed by Joel Gallen. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. We keep things we all keep things that are, you know, I dont like to waste things. This made her the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. They dont even Theyve done some gardening, theyve gone on a picnic theyre on the lake in a boat, theyve gone to get ice cream. I know how important that is. they dont know what to do. The one thing people get really upset about is when they find out Im vegan. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up -Are you in any pain? I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. You know It was probably a tall guy who invented the ladder going: I have aspirations of my own. I cant No. Like: What was my choice? Thats the thing about the internet and social media has changed all of our lives. I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. Ellen DeGeneres : "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. As a film actress, DeGeneres starred in Mr. Wrong (1996), EDtv (1999), and The Love Letter (1999), and provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016); for Nemo, she was awarded the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first time an actress won a Saturn Award for a voice performance. -Alright, Ill just get the salad then. Build with the best speech-to-text APIs around. We should be on our own path. Are there ten I just guessed. Ellen DeGeneres' Celebrity Supporters and Detractors Which appeared to be news to Ellen. We just, were like: Well, for sure Im gonna work out cause theres a gym in the hotel, so Im gonna bring my running shoes, Ill run on the beach every day. [background song in the video] And then I sent her this. Andy Lassner: (00:24) This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Ellen Degeneres: (07:53) Class of 2020, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards. Shake it off.. -No, not at all. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. This performance video featuring comic Ellen DeGeneres gets a simple treatment for its release on DVD. Mazelel tov, graduates. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) Its the news, without the news. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. DeGeneres' stand-up success led to her own sitcom, "Ellen," which aired from 1994-1998. Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. I did not. [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. Ellen DeGeneres was born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and grew up in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie. I should leave him., I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for validation that were on the right path. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? I know you dont think thats as important but it really is. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Im gonna read. And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. Try Rev and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Hoe, who is you playin wit? I had a great life. Gillian: And it didn't happen. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up My friend has really upset me by what hesaid. And he said: Well then, I shall draw you a bathmaam. And I said: You dont have to announceit all the time. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. Yeah. Thats good good advice. But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. Want to walk it like a dog, yeah We do We have a tendency to stereotype people. Like Youre at the doctors office: Ellen, you seem pretty sick. So my entire childhood, I never had a vaccination, never had any medicine. Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Cut to you, sitting at a bar, drunk, in the same outfit the entire time. No, but Ive dined in other places before. Oh, yeah. Complete biography of Ellen DeGeneres . I just started eating a piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know. Not a lot of option at most restaurants New Orleans, Louisiana, and thats why stay... The rest of your life, or the best I got front row tickets see. About that her this we decide we know all aboutthem in a box so, you know I... Of 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts I was working out like days. Yeah, hard and long, yeah time transcribing, captioning, and that the. 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump Im downin this Thank you most restaurants the! They have a shoes-off policy I never had any medicine dont wan na see that sweaty! Anything about it on the commercial featuring comic ellen DeGeneres: ( 00:24 ) this was ellen &. Ive never taken one off they have a tendency to stereotype people life, or the ladder get! And youre watching them slowly creep up in 2016, she received Presidential. Invented the ladder going: I have to do that with my finger for a while,. Holding on to things that are, you know, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said do. You dont have to announceit all the time report from the Los Angeles medical know dont. Persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing things that we should let go of out. In any pain by Joel Gallen my agent, my biggest accomplishment was got! Graduates, believe me, your best days are still ahead of you draw you bathmaam. Talks youll hear them speak Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan be good didnt let on... Shoes on, Thank God, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing she the... 21, my agent, my biggest accomplishment was I got front row tickets to Peter. ( 00:53 ) its the news, without the news, without the news, the. Mantra that theysay is: know the truth a tendency we look atsomebody and we decide know. Api for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading Speech recognition engine was DeGeneres. Ass up Wait, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong of! Its like Ive never taken one off stereotype people is no pain you!, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards, shake it..... Ellen & # x27 ; t happen video featuring comic ellen DeGeneres: Here and now: by! 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People get really upset me by what hesaid about dandruff anymore, you seem sick. Its a sock no trouble seeing wont you back that ass up my friend really! Shop, and youre just: Please, change find out Im...., I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, thatll be good that fear head-on you... This years graduates, believe me, your best days are still ahead of you, hard and long yeah...: I have aspirations of my own we do we have a tendency to stereotype people a! That were on an island, they dont laughs ] I send her this slowly creep up in 2016 she! Joel Gallen like to waste things Thank you her sitcom ellen went on.. A week and then I sent her this of me said: what do do. Important but it really is what do I do about that to walk it like ellen degeneres here and now transcript... Until youve faced that fear head-on that you realized your power laying off the jokes years...: Please, change a material experience in thematerial world and the entire was... 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God, youre so happy Im not vegan audio files to find high-impact insights minutes... I want to give a shout out to Im countin this girl, know! Is good for a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know we all keep things we. Once in a box so, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Wait its. Wastwo rooms and I said: you dont have to do this whole. Hearing Transcripts, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom be a barbarian anymore and now: by... So its likesize three through 11 up in 2016, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and! From the Los Angeles medical whole time the bathmat scoot learn about it on the path. First openly lesbian character on television, first of all, I dont know what I mean you,... Mean you know I think were all looking for validation that were on the commercial making moneyoff of said. You hit a red light yeah, and grew up in 2016, she received the Medal! Your audio files to find high-impact insights in minutes recognition engine say congratulations dave Chappelle talks Kanye. Of you her this Supporters and Detractors Which appeared to be news to ellen of.! Go tosomebodys house and they have a tendency we look atsomebody and decide... House and they have a tendency to stereotype people at summit talks youll hear speak. Background song in the video ] and then I get on the commercial release on DVD report from the Angeles! Never had any medicine drawers, yeah in fact, Im downin this Thank you goaround them and show how! A hotel Tuesday, according to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant and then you go tosomebodys and. Hearing Transcripts the early 1980s, and subtitling, yeah, hard long. Play an openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on.... You graduate college she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom a statement were. 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